“…It is a time when You may be found…” Psalm 32 KJV
I’ve finally reached that pinnacle in life that’s on everybody’s bucket-list: Retirement. I cringe now because I’m older, and since retiring from the labor force after more than 50 years in total, including 18 years at the last job, I fear that I won’t have enough to live on. This is a sad truth and an unsettling situation for a lot of “retired” people, but it’s supposed to be a time of rest. I started work at the age of 19, immediately following graduation from high school, and had big plans for my life. I have worked diligently and consistently down through the years to get to this place of retirement.
Arriving on time, staying late, losing sick-days, and giving back vacation days, it mostly all seemed to go unappreciated, but I had a plan. When I look back now, and consider my status, I recognize that we, who are Baby-Boomers, complain about today’s work ethic of Gen-Zers, Gen Xers, and Millennials. I’m not sure if they get it right, or if we did. They don’t seem to view their work experience the way we did.
Some retired people I know boast about never having taken a sick day off, in 30-something years. I think that’s a good thing because maybe it means he was not sick enough to stay home, or it means he never got sick. Either way, what a blessing. The work-life of “Boomers” was and is so different from today’s work force. We set the standards for hard work. We recognized what it would take to buy a home, provide a college education for your children’s future, and even to save a little something for our own future. Our parents did it all on much less than we do, and our children with three times the income that we make find it very hard to do.
When my husband and I married back in 1973, we rented a basement apartment for $100.00 a month. We had one bedroom, a bathroom, kitchen, closets and a living-room. Our plans were in motion and we were on our way. Just the two of us heading into the future. When our family started to grow a couple of years later it became necessary to move to a larger apartment. We needed a bedroom for the baby. We found a nice 2-Bedroom apartment in a 2-Family house in an upscale neighborhood. It was a stretch for us, but we did it. The rent was $125.00.
When the baby came, we had the added expense of hiring a baby-sitter since we both worked. Those days and hours of commuting, getting to and from work, paying the baby-sitter and all that came with maintaining our life-style demanded that we put our time in. So we did. Six years later, the second baby was coming, and on top of that the landlady decided that she was going to increase the rent to $150.00. How dare her!?
Everything was going up except our salaries. This change required another change in our plans so we decided we would not stand for the increase. We would buy our own house instead. We had some savings and with $5,000 we put a down-payment on our current home, and moved in to where we have now lived for more than 30 years. Down through the years, we did what every family does. We put the kids through school, celebrated graduations, birthdays, marriages, and anniversaries, and helped them pack as they have moved on and out. They both got jobs, and rented their own place, and built their own lives. They now have the responsibility of taking care of themselves, in addition to their children, and maybe someday, us.
We all work hard trusting that we are making the best plans to secure our future so that we don’t have to worry. I don’t know if aging was ever a concern for our parents, and if it were, they never voiced it. I don’t know if my parents ever worried about not having enough in their old age; or what would happen to us kids if the time came where they could not take care of us. Certainly as kids we never thought about it. Life was good and our parents did a great job providing for us and themselves.
Both my parents, and my in-laws, have gone home to be with the Lord, and miraculously, we are still standing. Between them they raised 12 children. They did something right. But I fear the weariness of growing old, and the loss of vitality that comes with old age, when the weekly paycheck stops coming. In addition to raising our family, ‘retirement’ is something we work toward for many years: a time to rest; when we would not have to commute to work; not have to worry about calling out sick, or getting to work late; the time when we would not have to worry about the demands and restrictions of the job.
While we come up with the best plan we can for our lives, working lo these many years, squirreling away a few pennies for our future, and putting things in place for those days that have now come, I sometimes worry how we’re going to make it. But I’ve come to the conclusion that my parents likely came to, and David the Psalmist before them, in Psalm 37:22-25. This is a time for rest, not worry. Carol Antrom has said, “Worry is for the unsaved.”
Therefore, freedom from worry can only come through confession and forgiveness.
I’ve had to confess to God, and admit to Him that I have been trying real hard to make my own way, and I realize that no amount of money or planning can secure my future outside of Him. Pastor often says, ‘Confession is good for the soul but bad for the reputation.’ I agree. “Confession of sin is like a long hot shower in the grace of God.” I didn’t see it as Sin, but I had been trying to make sure that all those years on the job, the planning, and strategic planning would guarantee my security. Growing older means our limitations are growing stronger. In those moments we tend to forget about God’s plan, and set forth our own. But our times are in His hands.
After reading Psalm 32 I realized that I had to confess my sin of disobedience and independence to God and ask for His forgiveness. At first I didn’t see it, but the more I thought about it, I realized that as long as I placed my plan before His, I wasn’t trusting Him. I was trusting me. Throughout the years of my life God had given me the wisdom of His plan for my life, but somewhere along the way I had substituted my plan for His.
I can rest, knowing what my parents must have known; His plan of substitution is the best plan. God encourages us to make plans, but we must forever be aware that He has plans of His own. Our plans may or may not fit into His; and regardless His will and His purpose will be established. With far less than what we had, generations before us trusted God, and they believed His Word.